A drowning, a donation page, and zero accountability
Pools do not kill children. negligence does
My thoughts are with the little girl who drowned yesterday, and I genuinely hope she makes it through. However, there are some hard truths that need to be said, and I am not going to soften them.
.
Who the whūk, even friends or family, would start a Givealittle page titled “Help the Thompson/Namana Whanau” less than 24 hours after their toddler drowned?
It is barely been a day since one year old Laylah-Mae was pulled from that pool in her Wairarapa home, now fighting for her life in hospital, and already the digital begging bowl is out. The page creator, presumably a relative or close associate, wastes no time rattling on about a “devastating” tragedy, needing “tautoko” for flights to Starship if she is transferred, and easing the “mamae” with koha from strangers.
Expenses? Sure, they are the last thing on your mind in a crisis, until they are not apparently, and suddenly it is everyone else’s wallet that is supposed to step up.
One thing I did find interesting was that the NZ Herald did not include a link to the Givealittle page. I give them plenty of shit, but in this case, good on them. If you cannot afford to look after your kids when disaster strikes, maybe having kids is not the best option.
Who in the whānau was meant to be supervising this toddler when she got near the pool? Were the gates left open? Was aunty or uncle on the piss, or should I say waipeiro, since te reo is splattered throughout the original pleas like some cultural shield?
Police were called around 2.30pm on Wednesday to reports of a drowning. The child ends up in Wellington Hospital, stable but critical, with mum by her side. The family has other tamariki to attend to, sure, but how does a one year old end up in this situation at home?
Pools do not drown kids. Negligence does.
This is an absolute tragedy, but it could have been prevented one hundred percent. No excuses. Fences, gates, constant eyes on. Basic stuff every parent knows, or should.
Now this is just me, but if a family member or friend ended up fighting for their life in hospital, the last thing I would be thinking of is starting a Givealittle. If there were financial commitments, I would dig into my own pockets, sell what I could, or lean on actual family networks, not broadcast a sob story to social media and community groups begging for shares and donations.
“Please be kind and loving, it can literally happen to anybody,” they say.
Yeah, nah. Preventable accidents do not just happen to anybody without someone dropping the ball.
I absolutely hate some Givealittle causes. Sometimes when I read them, I cringe at how desperate the grift is. I saw someone shamelessly publish one for their dog’s surgery, spamming community groups throughout New Zealand. You know what would have prevented that? Pet insurance or actually having a savings account.
When did it become everyone else’s problem to help people out of completely avoidable situations?
We have got schools like South End, where the family’s kids attend, pushing the page on Facebook, calling it a “devastating accident” and urging koha because they are “deeply saddened”. Principal Kim Lupo says they will do whatever they can to support. Fair enough for the school community, but why drag the wider public into it?
This is not a natural disaster or an unavoidable medical crisis. It is a home pool incident that screams oversight.
Like I said, I really do hope little Laylah-Mae makes a full recovery. Her mum’s Facebook plea for prayers is heartbreaking. Personally, if I were responsible for negligence causing harm to a toddler or child, I do not think I could live with myself.
I decided to search the baby’s name on Facebook to get a better sense of the family, and the very first post that came up was already about needing donations for Gena and Kay. Separate to the Givealittle page of course.
I will be blunt. If my baby had been flown to Starship Hospital after a so called accident, and I use that word loosely, the last thing I would be worrying about is the clothes on my back. I would not be thinking about money, accommodation, or meals. I would probably not even be able to eat. My only focus would be my child.
As for accommodation, there is no way I would be leaving my baby’s side to head off to a hotel. Most parents who have had children in Starship do not leave. They sleep in those uncomfortable sticky lazy boys for weeks, sometimes months, because being there matters more than comfort.
There is no excuse for a baby falling into a pool and drowning. Gates should be closed at all times. When you have a one year old, you supervise them constantly. Twenty four seven.
I genuinely hope that baby pulls through, and that she is placed into a safe and responsible environment going forward.
I know I will sound harsh to some, and that is fine, but I have struggled financially plenty of times in my own life. What I do not understand is when tragedy became synonymous with fundraising.
Givealittle is pretty much Griftalittle these days, clogged with pointless and avoidable causes. The last time I donated was after a friend passed away, not to cover funeral costs because he had that sorted like most people do, but to help fly friends and family in from overseas. Being hit with a sudden death and then needing to get on a flight from London is brutal, and I know many of you reading this have been through that.
What I am sick of is Givealittles popping up where the hardship is often self inflicted, or at the very least avoidable. This one has already pulled in over $5,000.
Anyway, the main thing is that Laylah-Mae pulls through. In the meantime, I needed a vent, because seeing that fundraiser so quickly made me pretty whākn’ mad.
Beyond appealing.
Zero parental responsibility except for pleading for money, money, money.
Have they approached the multimillion Iwi who are provided $ millions per annum from our hard earned taxes to “ educate “ their beneficiaries in parental responsibility ?
No, thought not !