A taxpayer-funded piss-take: why the Māori seats have to go
If I had it my way, the Māori seats would be gone tomorrow. No referendum. No hand-wringing. Gone.
Because what they’ve become, in practice, is a protected lane for political cosplay, where performance gets rewarded and accountability gets treated like an insult. Te Pāti Māori have leaned into that harder than anyone. You only have to watch their conduct and attendance in Parliament to see they’re part-time MPs, full-time theatre.
Then there’s the spending. Of course it doesn’t surprise me that Rawiri Waititi and “Irish Deb” pop up among the biggest spenders. When you’re on $160k+ a year and you’ve got access to an expenses system that most taxpayers can only dream of, the temptation for these grifters is to spend, brand, grandstand, repeat. The taxpayer foots the bill, they bank the clout, and the outcomes stay the same.
Let’s stop pretending this is about “serving Māori”. These two could put on a clinic in how to treat a serious job like a glorified side hustle. It’s the same energy as a beneficiary who sits on their arse all day doing sweet whūk all, except this beneficiary is paid six figures and gets a Parliamentary credit card.
Parliament, for them, isn’t a workplace. It’s a dress-up party. A stage. A cringe catwalk where the winner is whoever can look the most ridiculous, the most outrageous, the most “look at me”. The punchline is always the same that they’ll take the hat off at Waitangi “out of respect”, but wear it in the House like a prop. Respect when the iwi demand it, arrogance when the taxpayer’s watching. Funny how the only thing they seem to genuinely love about this “colonial government” is the fucking salary.
Here’s the bit that should make anyone with a pulse angry: the expenses. Hundreds of thousands. Nearly half a million between two MPs. For what. For results you can point to. For measurable improvements. For any evidence at all that this is more than self-indulgent activism funded by people who can barely afford a pork bone boil-up.
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You can’t keep racking up massive spending and then act offended when people notice you’ve delivered sweet bugger all. You can’t treat Parliament like a part-time gig, then demand to be treated like untouchable leaders. You can’t play dress-up, play victim, play outrage merchant, and then expect everyone else to clap like trained seals.
The Māori seats were introduced for a different era. Today, they’re increasingly a shelter. A guaranteed pipeline where the incentive is to be loud, not useful. To be viral, not effective. To be seen, not to do.
The most insulting part is the patronising assumption sitting underneath it all that Māori “need” special seats to be represented. That Māori can’t win on merit. That Māori can’t lead in the general electorate like everyone else. That’s rubbish. Māori are already in Parliament across parties, on merit, through the same democratic contest as everyone else. Treating Māori seats as permanent training wheels is not empowerment, it’s condescension dressed up as virtue.
So yeah, I’m whūkd’ off. Because what’s happening is a piss-take. The Māori seats are being used as a shield for bad behaviour and a licence for taxpayer-funded theatrics. If the best defence of the seats is “how dare you question it”, then you’ve already admitted the rot.
Scrap them. Make every MP compete on equal terms. Make every party earn votes instead of inheriting a guaranteed seat. And if Te Pāti Māori want to be taken seriously, they can start by showing up, doing the job, and delivering something other than slogans and costumes.
Rant over.
