In an absolutely riveting twist of political theater, Benjamin Doyle, the Green Party member embroiled in a social media scandal, has chosen not to resign after his sexual cringe-worthy posts came to light. In a media stand-up today that could only be described as a masterclass in deflection, Doyle explained that he’s not stepping down, and apparently, it’s all just one big misunderstanding.
Doyle, whose social media history includes the use of questionable emojis, references to children using explicit language, and scatological content, took to the stage to explain that the infamous spiral emoji was actually a “Māori koru symbol.” Of course, many are struggling to understand how a spiral and, well, that emoji ever made its way to his posts, but Doyle insists it was just an innocent mistake.
In a bold twist, Doyle also suggested that the backlash was motivated by homophobia, which - let's be honest - might be a creative new way to deflect from the real issue: the fact that his social media looks like it belongs in a “what not to post” guide. But instead of offering a heartfelt apology, he’s decided to double down on his excuses, leaving the public scratching their heads and wondering if a resignation is somehow too boring for his taste.
So, what’s next for Doyle? He’s sticking around, sadly. He won’t be stepping down, even though the entire country seems to have a collective "fuck off please" moment. The Green Party, ever so graceful in handling this delicate situation, has opted not to demand his resignation, which makes you wonder if there’s a secret “how to handle scandals” manual that everyone’s ignoring. Oh, and guess who wasn’t rushing to his side with a “Don’t worry, mate, we’ve got your back”? None other than Chlöe Swarbrick and Marama Davidson.
The general public is, of course, thrilled with this development. Nothing says "accountability" like a refusal to admit wrongdoings, Doyle’s defenders (mostly a small, niche group of MAPs and pedo lovers) have been quick to point out that he’s a victim of misunderstanding, and we’re all just too sensitive to get it. Because, clearly, the real issue is us.
If there’s one thing we can all agree on, it’s that the right side of the political spectrum will never forget how the Greens have bungled this whole situation. Will the Green Party finally come to their senses? Will Doyle take the advice of his critics and bow out gracefully? Or will we continue to watch as this absurd drama unfolds, one excuse at a time?
The fucken cheek of those Greenie fuckers to spend time with a Police Detective working out if any of the “threats” to poor old butt hole Ben were viable when not 2 weeks ago Tamatha Paul calling for the Police to be defunded???
This has been the biggest shit storm ever to involve a Member of Parliament.
If it wasn’t for you, Tuiteka & Ani this would’ve never made it into the public sphere.
If there’s any positive to take away from this it will be that Liebour will know that this will make a Liebour, Greens & TPM coalition far too controversial to be voted in.