My proposal: KFC vouchers for sterilisation
A bold new welfare policy idea
Remember when the New Zealand Government handed out KFC vouchers to encourage people to get vaccinated during the COVID-19 pandemic? A little taste of the Colonel, all in the name of public health. That got me thinking. If we were happy to bribe people with junk food to take a vaccine, why stop there?
So here’s my proposal.
Let’s offer KFC vouchers to high-risk beneficiaries who make responsible, long-term reproductive choices. Simple as that. If you’re on the benefit and already have more than two kids, it’s time for some tough love and a $100 KFC voucher to go with it.
Men could be quietly approached by friendly outreach workers at WINZ, offered the chance to get a free vasectomy plus a $100 KFC voucher to sweeten the deal. Snip it at the source, save the taxpayer some grief.
For women? Liquorland vouchers in exchange for getting their tubes tied. No pressure, just an incentive to help them make a permanent decision to stop having benefit-funded babies.
Before anyone screams, WINZ already funds vasectomies. I’m just suggesting we boost uptake with a couple of buckets of hot and spicy. We used junk food to promote a mass public health campaign once. We can do it again
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This would be 100% voluntary and also very practical. “We’re simply giving people the opportunity to make empowered, calorie-rich decisions,” one might say, ideally while licking chicken grease off their fingers.
Every child born into long-term hardship costs the state tens of thousands in benefits, housing and social services. Every combo deal handed out today could mean tens of thousands saved tomorrow. A small investment for a long-term return.
Ethical concerns? Spare me. We bribed people with fried chicken to take an experimental vaccine and called it public service. This is no different. It’s family planning with a side of slaw.
Call it brutal, call it tasteless, but if we’re serious about addressing generational welfare dependency, then it’s time for bold, outside-the-box thinking. And a $100 KFC voucher might just be the box to start with.
Vouchers might also be handed out near polling booths. I've heard there may be precedent although I couldn't possibly comment.
Bribing might be politically unacceptable, cries of "Nazi! Eugenics!" and of course "Racist!". OTOH doctors, midwives and social workers can introduce the topic of permanent cessation of breeding when the topic of contraception is discussed. Posters in clinics... and daycare centres, bottle stores, stuck on power poles outside KFCs.