National sold us a lie

Luxon Is just Ardern in drag

I’ll admit it – I have a serious case of buyer’s remorse. At the last election, I held my nose and voted for the National Party candidate in my electorate, thinking I was choosing a centre-right alternative to the mess we’d just had. Turns out I voted for Jacinda Ardern in a blue tie.

Christopher Luxon – remember when he promised change? Strong leadership? A different direction from the last six years of government overreach? Well, now he’s cosplaying as the CEO of Big Government. If you squint a bit, it's hard to tell the difference between him and Ardern. The only real change is the lack of hair and lack of teeth.

Luxon made a song and dance about not supporting ACT’s Treaty Principles Bill. So much for being bold. But wait, now he wants to roll out a Social Media Bill that would most likely require all New Zealanders to prove they’re over 16 just to use Facebook or TikTok. Brilliant. Because when I voted National, what I really wanted was more government IDs, digital surveillance, and to relive the golden era of vaccine passports. Speaking of which, I used someone else’s passport the whole time.

Meanwhile, the cost of living crisis is somehow worse under National. Butter is $12. Rents are climbing. Your grocery bill now requires a second mortgage. And what’s National’s economic plan to ease the pain? Apparently, "just wait, it’ll trickle down."

Luxon’s popularity is tanking faster than Ben “Bussy” Doyle's political career after his social media scandal. According to a March 2025 Taxpayers' Union-Curia poll, Luxon sits at a net favourability of -10 percent. That’s right – negative ten. Chris Hipkins, the guy who can’t define what a woman is, is beating him with a +4 percent rating. That takes real talent.

People on X have taken to calling Luxon “arrogant” and “incompetent.” Others say his constant defensiveness is a cover for a worrying lack of leadership skills. To be honest, he probably is better suited to a corner office in a multinational where he can fire people over Zoom and call it innovation.

If you voted National, you voted for a left-wing prime minister with better corporate branding. We thought we were getting a fiscally responsible adult in the room. What we got was Jacinda 2.0, but with a smug grin and a shareholder report.

At this point, if I wanted more government control, higher prices, and a leader who thinks your birth certificate should determine your browsing habits, I’d have just stuck with Labour. At least they didn’t pretend to be something else.