Te reo Māori or just te reoish?

Bastardised English with a fancy spin

We are constantly told that te reo Māori is some kinda sacred language that must be preserved at all costs. Billions of dollars are being spent on government programmes, schools, and advertising campaigns to force the language into everyday life. When you actually look closely at modern te reo, a lot of it is not uniquely Māori at all. It is what you might call te reoish – English words simply rebranded to sound Māori.

Take a few everyday examples:

• Kawhe – coffee. Hardly original.

• Mīti – meat. Just a vowel swap.

• Pata – butter. They literally took the word butter and slapped a P at the start.

• Pepa – pepper. Again, just tweaking the sound.

• Pata pīnati – peanut butter. It could not get more obvious.

This pattern is everywhere. Rather than being an ancient or complex system, much of what is taught today as te reo is a direct copy-and-paste of English, with minor pronunciation changes. It is English in Māori dress.

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Of course, all languages borrow words over time, but the difference here is the sheer scale and the insistence that this “te reoish” is somehow a sacred taonga that demands billions in taxpayer spending. If te reo Māori is meant to be so unique and special, why is so much of it just bastardised English? Is this cultural appropriation?

The truth is that what many politicians, activists, and academics are pushing today is less about preserving an authentic language and more about cultural posturing. Te reoish is English with a paint job, and the public is expected to pretend it is something extraordinary.

It is time for an honest conversation. Is New Zealand really reviving a language, or are we being sold a te reoish version of English, wrapped up in politics and identity?