If you're reading this, congratulations - you’ve just stumbled into something new, slightly ridiculous, and hopefully entertaining.
Every week, I’ll be putting together a totally unofficial, highly Photoshopped "magazine cover" that sums up the biggest, weirdest, or just plain dumbest moments from the past seven days. It’s like a news recap, but if the news had a meltdown and started designing its own tabloids - oh hang on, they already do!
This little idea was born out of Saturday Satire - my weekly dive into the absurd. Last Saturday I wrote a piece on Debbie Ngawera-Packer getting spray tans to make her look more Māori, Uncle Winny referenced it and ended up getting kicked out of parliament.
Sometimes, one post isn’t enough to capture the chaos of modern life. So now we’re getting visual. Each “issue” will come with a custom cover that highlights whatever stood out during the week - headlines, memes, public meltdowns, celebrity weirdness and shitloads of political nonsense.
Is it useful? Debatable. Is it accurate? Not remotely. Is it fun? Absolutely.
So here it is: #001. Print it. Frame it. Send it to your group chat. Or just shake your head and wonder why you're subscribed. Either way - glad you’re here and I’ll keep going until I get a cease and desist letter!
Cheers, Matua!
Magazine #001
Sean throws a tantrum
If you missed it, Sean Plunket fell for my satirical piece claiming Debbie Ngarewa-Packer gets spray tans every Thursday. To his credit, he did some real "investigative journalism" by asking on X if anyone knew who "sunkissedbyshazza" was - iconic.The hypocrisy of media outrage and the Toddler-in-Chief of The Platform
·
It is always a comedy of double standards when the mainstream media foams at the mouth over satire - except, of course, when the target is Donald Trump. When it comes to the US President, mocking his tangerine-tinted skin and calling him "orange man" is not just acceptable, it is a media sport. Shooting at action figures of him on live television? Is ju…
Big Mac recipe inside!
Referencing Sean Plunket’s wild claims against far-left X user Samuel Hudson, involving explicit videos and, yes, a Big Mac and a carrot. Don’t blame me—those were Sean’s own words.BREAKING – Sean Plunket just dropped the uncensored and unchained truth about Samuel Hudson live on The Platform.
·
Sean Plunket has just gone live on The Platform with what may be the most explosive broadcast of the year - delivering the full, uncensored story of Samuel Hudson. No spin. No filters. Just raw, confronting detail.
Lil Gay Out cancelled!
Kudos to
for helping prevent the TQ+ event, Lil Gay Out, from being hosted at Hobsonville Point Secondary School.Lil’ Gay Out cancelled
·
Hobsonville Point Secondary School has finally done what any responsible school should have done from the start. After public outrage and the threat of protest, they cancelled the annual LGBTQ+ event Lil’ Gay Out. About time.
The most racist bitch in New Zealand
Kapa-Kingi told MPs and the people of New Zealand that we should be grateful just to be here. The comment didn’t go down well - and with good reason.
Te Pāti Māori’s vile racism stains parliament once again
·
In a shaameful outburst in Parliament today, Te Pāti Māori MP Mariameno Kapa-Kingi spewed more anti-Pākehā venom, snarling at Pākehā MPs, “And you’re welcome that you get to live here at all.” The implication? They’re mere guests in New Zealand, tolerated only by her grace. This is raw, unfiltered racism on full display.
Time for the asylum?
Each week, Swarbrick seems more unhinged than the last. Time for a wellness check? Fun fact: this was yesterday’s satire:NZ Greens in mourning after Hamas commander injured
·
The Green Party of New Zealand has plunged into collective mourning following news that Tawfiq Abu Naim, a Hamas commander with a starring role in the October 7 attacks against Israel, was severely injured or may have even died, in recent airstrikes. The outpouring of grief from the Greens has left Auckland’s Myers Park looking like a cross between a po…
Ardern officially NZ’s worst PM ever
No explanation needed.
Very clever! Mainstream media and politics are both a complete circus, so why must those who hold them to account only be serious? Humour is the cut-through needed and this is a very clever way to do it, while showcasing your great posts of the week. Love your work!
Mark Twain quote “humour is the good natured side of the truth”. Looking forward to the magazine covers.