Update: While a baby fights for life, the parents count the cash

After publishing my earlier piece, I decided to search the baby’s name on Facebook to get a clearer picture of the family involved. I was not digging for gossip. I wanted context. What I found almost immediately was confronting.

This image is AI generated.

The very first post that appeared was not a medical update, not a request for privacy, and not a message centred solely on hope for the child. It was a call for donations. Specifically, financial help for adults named in connection with the fundraiser. That set the tone.

I will be blunt. If my baby had been flown to Starship Hospital after a serious incident at home, the last thing on my whākn’ mind would be money, accommodation, or donations. I would not be thinking about food or clothes. I would probably not even be able to eat. My entire focus would be on my child.

Anyone who has experienced Starship knows this. Parents do not leave. They sleep in those uncomfortable vinyl lazy boys for weeks, sometimes months. Comfort becomes irrelevant. Hotels, meals, clothing, all of it fades into the background when your child is fighting for their life.

Yet while this baby remains in hospital, fundraising posts are circulating rapidly, being shared widely, and actively promoted.

What also stood out was how easy it was to identify the adults connected to the fundraiser. They were reacting to posts, engaging on Facebook, and clearly active online.

Then there is the comment being pushed alongside the fundraiser:

“We ask that you open your hearts and minds to this little girl’s parents, they are already kicking themselves over this tragic accident, please be kind and loving, it can literally happen to anybody and although we know these accidents can be prevented, the judgement is not needed.”

I completely disagree. Judgement is needed.

A one year old is fighting for her life because basic supervision failed. Calling it a tragic accident does not erase responsibility. Saying the parents are already kicking themselves openly implies that responsibility has landed somewhere. Babies do not supervise themselves. Pools do not suddenly become dangerous on their own. Human failure is the missing piece here, and refusing to acknowledge that helps no one.

The phrase “it can literally happen to anybody” is a cop out. Preventable accidents do not simply happen without someone dropping the ball. This was not a freak act of nature. This was a home pool incident involving a one year old. Gates should be closed at all times. Supervision should be constant. Not assumed. Not shared. Constant.

There is no excuse for a baby falling into a pool and drowning. None.

I genuinely hope this child pulls through. That has never changed. I also hope that if she does, she is placed into an environment where safety is taken seriously and responsibility is not outsourced to strangers online.

People seem desperate to shut down uncomfortable questions by demanding kindness and silence. But asking hard questions is not cruelty. It is how we prevent this from happening again. Compassion does not mean pretending nothing went wrong.

Tragedy should not automatically trigger a fundraising drive. Sympathy should not replace accountability. And concern for a child’s wellbeing should never come second to refreshing a donation total which is currently sitting at over $8300.

If that makes people uncomfortable, so be it.