Chrislynchmedia.com did what rest of the mainstream media will not. He asked Christchurch Mayor Phil Mauger straight up why New Brighton Mall suddenly needs a Māori name attached to it when no one in the community actually asked for one. The result was an interview that exposed just how ridiculous the whole process has become.
Lynch opened with the simple question any normal person would ask.
“Phil, why does New Brighton Mall need to be renamed with the Māori name?”
Mauger’s answer was a masterclass in waffle.
“They’ve been gifted the name” he said, as if a mysterious gift automatically overrides common sense. He tried to reassure everyone that it will not cost the council money and that both names could sit together. When Lynch asked what the new name actually is, Mauger could not even remember it.
“The other name just escapes me at the moment”
“I can’t remember”
“I haven’t got it in front of me”
If the mayor cannot name the name, why on earth should the public be expected to use it.
After some digging we now know the proposed name is Te Ara Kuaka. Another Te Reo title slapped onto something that already has a perfectly good name. No one asked for it. No one demanded it. No one needs it.
Lynch then delivered the line that cut through the spin.
“It sounds voluntary and generous saying the name was gifted, but in practice it has become a default pathway with very little room for a no thanks, isn’t it”
Exactly. This so called gifting is just political pressure dressed up as generosity in a piupiu. A name you cannot decline is not a gift. It is an instruction.
And Mauger’s defence was even worse.
“If someone gives you something, you are grabbed with both hands.”
Yeah, nah, you’re Phil of kaka. I was given a Jean Paul Gaultier cologne for my birthday. You know what I did. I gave it away. Because I do not want to smell like my father and because it is not my fragrance. Being given something does not oblige you to accept it. Whūk, I turn down meals all the time because I do not trust the cooking or the state of the kitchen. A gift is optional. A forced acceptance is not. Hell, I even turned down a beer the other week - it was a Waikato Draught, so I am sure you can forgive me.
Why does everything in this country now require a Māori name. Who decided that every street, mall, hill, lake, library and underground pipe needs a second name that most of the population cannot read or pronounce. When did this become compulsory cultural homework.
Mauger even exposed the stupidity of the whole thing himself. He admitted he regularly sees tourists standing outside Christchurch’s central library, completely confused because the only word displayed is Tūranga.
“I have had people ask me from overseas have you seen the library and they are standing right in front of it because it has not got library written after Tūranga.”
So even the mayor knows the signage does not work. Even he knows the system is confusing. Yet the council keeps pushing it anyway.
Here is the whūkd’ up truth. Only 4.3 percent of New Zealanders speak Te Reo Māori. Even that number is generous. Most people know greetings and scattered phrases. That is not fluency. That is basic vocabulary. However, the country keeps pretending everyone is a bilingual linguist whose daily routine includes reading carved pou and reciting whakataukī.
Lynch brought up the QE2 renaming fiasco. Mauger admitted that the Māori name never caught on.
“I do not think anybody really uses the Māori name of QE2. It flows off your tongue easier.”
In other words people will always use what is easiest and what they know. That is not racism. That is practicality. The kind of practicality the council seems determined to ignore.
New Brighton Mall is not being officially renamed but everything about this process feels like a slow creeping push toward it. The quiet assumption that everyone must accept whatever name is presented. The pressure disguised as politeness. The expectation that no one is allowed to say no without being accused of something sinister.
The truth is simple. New Brighton Mall does not need Te Ara Kuaka. It needs revitalisation, investment and leadership. Instead Christchurch is being offered symbolic nonsense and confused tourists.
If the mayor cannot remember the name, the community should not be expected to pretend it matters.
Auckland Is no better with its light rail naming fantasy
Now that I have torn shreds off Christchurch, here is something a little closer to home. Auckland’s light rail network has gone fully off the deep end with its station names. Te Waihorotiu Station is the new 15 metre deep, 300 metre long underground mega station in midtown. It is expected to be the busiest train station in the entire country. It has entrances on Victoria Street and Wellesley Street.
Tell me who on earth is actually going to call it Te Waihorotiu. No one. Absolutely no one. People will say Victoria Station. They will say Wellesley Street Station. They will use whatever is practical because commuters do not have time to stand around rehearsing syllables for the sake of a political fashion statement.
If you want proof of how out of touch the whole process is, look at their promotional video. It bangs on about some mythical story involving Papatūānuku and Ranginui’s tears flowing into the land and various mystical imagery that looks like it was written under the influence Lion Red crate bottles. I cannot even be bothered rewatching it to quote accurately because the entire presentation is so detached from reality. You can watch it below.
Auckland does not need spiritual mythmaking. It needs a transport system that works. Renaming everything in sight does not get a single train running on time.
